The Light Shadows-Dark Shadows of Our Personality Affect Our Ability to Manage
VANCOUVER BUSINESS JOURNAL
February, 2001

Management Concepts
JONNIE MARTIN


Management is a deeply human issue.  Humans are managing; humans are being managed; human emotions are involved.  The better we are as human beings, the fewer our flaws and foibles, the better we will manage.

That means, as managers, we have an obligation to become our best self, identifying our strengths and bringing those to bear on our management issues.  We also have an obligation to reduce and eliminate our personal weaknesses, because they too color our management relationships.  We need to wire around them, protect others from them, and otherwise remove the toxicity of our faults.  

Most of us are aware of our major strengths and weaknesses, and at least feintly aware of our responsibility to be fair and balanced and professional in our dealings with others.  In recent years, there has been some growing awareness that each of us also has a set of “shadow” attributes that we barely acknowledge or understand, that also affect our ability to manage well.

According to this new sensitivity, each of us has strengths we refuse to acknowledge (light shadows) and weaknesses we are afraid to admit (dark shadows) and these have a greater impact on us than we realize.

The leader that ignores the dark side of their personality greatly hampers their organization.  Others in the company do not typically have the power to tell us to “stop.”  It is up to us to ferret out these damaging traits and to get appropriate help.

Some  years ago I managed the turnaround process for the subsidiary of a large group of companies totaling some 400 employees.  The sole owner of the corporations was quite emotionally unstable and very erratic in his behavior.  In the 20 months that I worked in the organization, he fired his CFO, his Treasurer, three HR Directors, a Marketing Manager, a P-R Manager, and the President of his real estate subsidiary.  

No one in the organization was strong enough to tell this maniacal man to “stop.”  He needed to do that for himself.  In moments of sanity, he needed to find professional help to dig through his deep psychological wounds.  Not everyone has problems as deep as his — but our dark side, our bad habits, our weaknesses affect our companies.  We need to find ways to identify and fix them.

Likewise, we limit the performance of our companies when we do not capitalize on our strengths.  If our sense of insecurity forces us to refuse and refute our areas of strength, then our company loses.  We become hesitant, tentative, reluctant to move forward as strong leaders.

I saw this trait in my own mother.  She was a virtuoso on the piano at age 5.  She had a natural ear and a deep and natural talent, that received considerable training between 5 and 18.  But her insecurities would not allow her to recognize and accept the level of her talent.  Even though teachers and other musicians repeatedly praised her as a genius, she could not let that information in.

She went on to live a very ordinary and difficult life as a waitress and later as a secretary, leaving far behind the wonderful talent that could have brightened her existence.  She refused to see her light shadows — and lived in the dark ones instead.

As a manager and leader it is incumbent upon you to identify and address your light and dark shadows.  Talk to your friends and peers and ask them about their view of your strengths and weaknesses.  If you are really brave, ask those whom you manage.  You have to make it absolutely safe for these people or they will not share — but if you can create a safe haven, the information you get will be golden.

Some years ago, when I was managing a division of a brokerage firm, I asked my staff to give me a written review.  We set up a computer file that they could use all week, entering their comments anonymously.  Because of the safety of the process, they were quite candid in their comments.

I came to the office on Saturday and read the review.  They started with many positive comments, identifying my strengths, my light shadows, as they saw them.  They were quick to tell me that they appreciate the energy and commitment I gave to the department and to them, as their coach.  They thanked me for representing them well to top management and giving them credit for their successes.  They valued my knowledge and my training skills and my wisdom.

They were also very open in telling me of my weaknesses, my dark shadows.  They found my quickness of mind and speech to be disconcerting — they never felt they could keep up with me.  I had a sharp tongue to go with it and an impatience with those who didn’t think and act as quickly as I did.  Sometimes I overpowered them and pulled rank.

As I sat in that empty office, tears streamed down my face.  It hurt to hear about my weaknesses.  I didn’t like facing them — and yet it was the most powerful information I had ever received.  My management “style” was not serving me well and in fact was contrary to my intent to coach and mentor these young people to success.  With this dark shadow looming undeniably in front of me, I began to change and improve my delivery so that it was effective and humane.

It was also useful to learn that my team highly valued my coaching and training skills.  Those were innate for me.  I taught people whether or not they wanted to be taught.  It was good to know that this trait was valued and I learned to improve on its effectiveness as well.

Discover your light and dark shadows.  Don’t be afraid of the dark shadows (down deep there is nothing evil lurking; you are NOT an ax murderer; there’s hardly any of those around).  Don’t deny the light shadows (it is not necessary to be that modest and it definitely isn’t effective).  Use the power of real self knowledge to increase your ability to lead.